great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
