My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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