They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
