booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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