There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
