guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
