I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
