You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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