Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
