i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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