Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
