It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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