YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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