Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
