This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
