Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
