what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
