yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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