how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
