that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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