You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
