I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
