So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
