That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
