Where is the hickey?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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