craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
