I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
