i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize