I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
