What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
