I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
