I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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