Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im holly from the hills drunk
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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