I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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