Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
