He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
