I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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