When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
