sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize