Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
