Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We left the knife in your bed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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