I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
