My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize