If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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