Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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