turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
