She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
