I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
