Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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