U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
