addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
