Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
