Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So here I am, sexting at work.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
