Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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