We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
