so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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