i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
i believe in u and ur pee
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