So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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