Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
