he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
