I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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