butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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