Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
